


I Just Want Someone To Talk To, And A Little Of That Human Touch

by octothorpetopus



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: First Kiss, Getting Together, M/M, POV Rafael Barba, Pining Rafael Barba
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:33:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25494673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/octothorpetopus/pseuds/octothorpetopus
Summary: Working together is better than Rafael ever could have expected.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 50
Collections: Barisi Summer Exchange 2020





	I Just Want Someone To Talk To, And A Little Of That Human Touch

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ava_now](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ava_now/gifts).



> I kind of tried to blend the pining and injury prompts into one, and I hope you like it!

“What are you doing in my office?” Rafael Barba hardly looked up from his phone as he entered his office. He had mastered the art of texting and walking long ago, and was very proud of his ability to multitask. However, that pride did not surpass his annoyance that his office chair was currently occupied by someone else.

”Sitting.” Sonny Carisi swiveled back and forth in his chair, his hands folded across his stomach.

”I can see that. Why?” Rafael rolled his eyes and sat in one of the chairs on the other side of his desk.

”I’m still not cleared for the field.” Sonny patted his leg for emphasis.

“I thought you were on bed rest.”

“If I have to spend another minute in bed, I’m gonna off myself with my service weapon.” Rafael sputtered. “Kidding. The doctor said I’d be fine after a week as long as I take it easy. But apparently it takes longer than two weeks for a shot in the leg to heal.”

”I’m floored. How is that now my problem? Shouldn’t you be on desk duty?”

“I’m supposed to be, but…” Rafael’s eyes narrowed. He recognized that look on Sonny’s face, sheepish but eager. It prefaced every study session they had had in the year and a half before Sonny passed the bar, and then every case he had begged to shadow afterwards. 

“But what?” Rafael asked, trying his best to sound resigned although he felt almost earnest at the prospect.

”Well, desk duty is ridiculously boring.” 

”Again, why does that matter to me?” Rafael kicked his feet up onto the desk and folded his arms. He had to admit, as much as he disliked having other people in his office, he did like the odd visitor to brighten up his schedule. At least, Sonny usually brightened him. Although he would rather die than admit it.

”Well, I talked to Benson, and she talked to the chief, and they agreed that if you’re cool with it, I can skip desk duty and come help you on this side of things until I’m cleared.”

”No. Absolutely not.” Sonny frowned at him with those eager puppy-dog eyes that Rafael was finding it increasingly hard to say no to.

”Please? I’ll be your coffee boy. I’ll take notes for you in court. Anything.”

”I can get my own coffee and take my own notes.”

”Please. I can’t do desk duty.”

”I-“

”I’ll be so bored that I’ll call you every single day. Every day.” Rafael paused. Quite frankly, that didn’t sound so bad. Still, he hated the idea of his phone ringing off the hook.

”God. Fine. But you’re not getting your own desk, and you have to be helpful.” Sonny’s face brightened.

”Absolutely. No problem.”

”Great. Please get out of my chair.” Sonny gestured wildly to his right, where a crutch leaned against the wall. Rafael retrieved it without complaint- he couldn’t much begrudge Sonny that, given that he’d been shot and was still perky and upbeat as ever. “And while you’re at it, there should be some files waiting for me downstairs. Would you?” Sonny shrugged and wiggled his crutch. Rafael groaned and rolled his eyes.

”Fine. I guess I’ll go get them. You make yourself at home.” He dropped his briefcase onto the desk. “I thought you were going to be helpful.”

”I am!”

”Oh, really?” Still, Rafael was smirking as he left the office. “Carmen, Carisi’s going to be helping me out until his leg’s good enough for him to go back to work, so you’ll have some help for the first couple of weeks.”

”Really? You seem pleased about that.”

”I can and will fire you.”

”No you won’t.”

”You’re right, I won’t. Just start showing him my filing system, and I’ll be back up in a minute.”

The files Rafael was waiting on, as a matter of fact, had not been delivered. So he made a trip down to the front desk for nothing. Excellent. However, he had given Carmen enough time to start showing Sonny the ropes, which he noticed when he found them sitting on the sofa in his office. They were laughing, loudly and brazenly, through the ajar office door, and Rafael paused for a moment before entering. Sonny had a nice laugh. A really nice one. Warm and loud and unashamed. Rafael couldn’t remember the last time he had laughed like that, or if he ever had. His sense of humor had died around the first time opposing counsel had called him a rude name on the courthouse steps.

”Am I interrupting something?” He asked, trying to muffle his sincerity with sarcasm.

”Nope.” Carmen glanced at him and then handed Sonny a stack of files. “Chronologically, then alphabetically, up to down then left to right.” Rafael’s filing system. He liked order in his life. That was why he got up at the same time every morning, put on the clothes he had set out the night before, ordered the same pastry and the same coffee from the Starbucks down the block (americano with an extra shot of espresso and a morning bun). He got lunch at the Italian diner across the street, or he brought a salad from home whenever he tried to eat healthier. He worked until 9 or 10 at night, then walked back to his apartment, set out his clothes, and went to bed just to do the exact same thing again the next day. He had a system, and the system never failed him. Except for on the days when Sonny called him and asked him to come eat lunch in the squad room, which then meant he spent an extra half hour over there laughing and talking, which then meant he didn’t get home until 11, and he got an hour less sleep, and then he was more tired, and so on and so forth until the weekend, when he could finally re-regulate his schedule.

“Come on,” he said, waving for Sonny to follow him as he went back to the elevator. “We’ve got a grand jury in a half an hour.” Sonny hobbled after him on his crutch.

“This is going to be fun,” he said brightly, to which Rafael rolled his eyes.

“Whatever you say, kid.”

He was glad to have someone with him, really. Sonny turned out to be a help in court (his penmanship was much better than Rafael’s), and he was willing to stay as late as Rafael to help him put away files. They walked to the subway station together most nights, although they took different trains, and Rafael had to admit it was probably the most fun they’d ever had together. They were comfortable in each other’s company in a way they had never been before, and it wasn’t horrible. No. It was nice. He got the hang of things rather quickly, and before long, he was in Rafael’s office before he was, with two steaming cups of coffee already on his desk. The silences were the nicest part, long stretches of comfortable quiet that settled between them like they had known each other for decades instead of only a couple of years. There were jokes, too, beyond the usual poking and prodding. They were a team of their own, and it was like they knew each other’s moves well enough to match them, like an elaborately choreographed ballroom dance. They adjusted to match one another, too. Sonny became bolder, less afraid to give his opinion and asked more questions, about cases and about Rafael himself (which is how they wound up discovering they shared a love for Greek food, Simon & Garfunkel, and The West Wing). Rafael found himself becoming kinder, more forgiving when mistakes were made, and he didn’t roll his eyes when Sonny cracked a joke anymore. He liked the new, affectionate version of himself. It was easier, somehow, to be like this. To share his life with someone. Whenever something funny happened in court, or someone was rude to him on the street, or even just when he found an especially good coffee shop, it was Sonny he thought to tell first. It was Sonny that popped into his head first thing in the morning, and he floated through Rafael’s dreams when he drifted off to sleep at night. He saw Sonny’s face in the reflection off the Hudson, and heard his voice in the crowds of Times Square. He had never been a particularly emotional person- or at least not someone who was good at sharing his emotions, but something in him had changed. It was like a switch had been flipped, something that turned on a light where there hadn’t been anything before. Something despite the copious amounts of hair gel and accent that made most of his words unintelligible and constant stream-of-consciousness speech had changed him, and as much as Rafael’s personality was based on his hatred of change, he couldn’t hate this change. Maybe that was because this change had beautiful eyes and an even-more-beautiful mind. Whatever it was, he was different, and that difference was never going away.

“Hey!” Rafael nearly fell head-over-heels at the sound of Sonny’s voice now, how stupid was that? And by stupid, he of course meant nice. He had run out to pick up takeout for dinner, and stopped by the liquor store on a whim for a bottle of scotch. As nice as change was, it was even nicer drunk. 

“Hi.” He dropped the bag of takeout directly on top of the files Sonny was in the middle of notating.

“Let’s be done for the night.” Sonny raised his eyebrows, smiling but puzzled.

“Seriously? What happened to workaholic Rafael and who’s the slacker who replaced him?”

“Call it a thank you present.”

“Okay, for real, what’s wrong with you? Are you sick? Did you fall and hit your head?’  
“No, and no. What, can I not have a nice, work-free dinner with a friend?” A wide, toothy grin overtook Sonny’s face.

“We’re friends?”

“Yeah, yeah. You don’t have to make a big deal out of it.” _Besides,_ Rafael thought, _if I have anything to do with it, it won’t be much longer before we’ve moved past that._ He produced the scotch with a flourish and chuckled as Sonny’s eyes lit up.

“That looks expensive.”

“Do I look like I buy cheap liquor? Go big or go home, right?” 

They were a couple of glasses deep by the time Rafael got up the courage to ask what he’d wanted to ask since that first morning Sonny had appeared in his office.

“Why are you here?” He asked, so quietly he wasn’t actually sure if he’d asked it out loud.

“What do you mean?”

“I just mean… I offered you a job working with me last year. You said no. Why now?”

“Well, Rafael, last year my leg was fully functional. I’m here so-”

“So you don’t have to do desk duty. Yeah.” And that should have been it, but Rafael couldn’t bear to leave it. “I’m sorry just… you told me you still had things to do on the force. And that’s why you wouldn’t leave. I don’t see how that’s changed. I mean, you might not be doing the same things, but you’re still doing-”

“I’m not doing anything on desk duty! It’s not that it’s boring, or that I’m just uninterested. I’m not… helping anyone. That’s why I got into law enforcement, because I really do just want to help people. But filing evidence reports, organizing files… that doesn’t actually do anything if there aren’t people out there actually fixing the problem.”

“But there are, Sonny. You have a whole unit out there. You’re not doing this job all by yourself, you know. You’re not me.”

“I know. But when I’m here… I feel like I’m doing something. And if I’m on desk duty, then I know my whole team’s out there doing what I’m supposed to be doing, and I’m just back in the squad room by myself. At least here, I have you. It’s not quite so lonely.”

“You want to talk lonely? Do you know how nice it’s been to have another person here with me every day?”

“Really? You like having me here?”

“If I could, I’d offer you another job.” Sonny didn’t say anything, but he rocked in his seat a little, seemingly pleased. “You know, I spent most of my life thinking I was happier by myself. I think maybe I was just spending time with the wrong people. You make not being lonely seem nice.”

“You don’t have to be lonely, you know,” Sonny said. “Just say the word. I’ll never let you be lonely again.” It was an offer, Rafael could see it written across Sonny’s face in big block letters. Since they’d started talking, Sonny’s hand had been inching across the desk towards him, and now their fingertips were just barely brushing. Slowly, wordlessly, Rafael put his hand over Sonny’s, interlocking their fingers. He lifted Sonny’s hand in his own, never taking his eyes off of Sonny, and pushed their palms together. It was like a scene straight out of Romeo and Juliet, only Rafael was fairly confident neither of them died at the end. “So is that a yes?” Sonny asked, and without waiting for an answer, leaned across the desk to press his lips to Rafael’s. What was the line again? _And palm to palm is holy palmers’ kiss. Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?_ He couldn’t remember the last time he’d held a warm hand in his, or kissed anyone, really. He hadn’t forgotten how, though. Maybe that was one of those things that was impossible to forget. Or maybe, with the right person, it just came naturally.

“I’ve wanted to do that since the first time I saw you.” The words escaped his lips breathlessly, without him even meaning to say them. “At least since the first time I saw you after you shaved that stupid mustache off.” Sonny laughed, and Rafael kissed him again.

“The doctors cleared me,” Sonny murmured into Rafael without even breaking the kiss.

“What?” Rafael paused, Sonny’s breath warm on his skin.

“I’m back on the force.”

“Oh.” Rafael tried to mask his disappointment. He knew how much it meant to Sonny to be able to go back, and for that, he was elated. But he didn’t want to lose the only true companion he’d ever had in this office.

“Listen.” Sonny got to his feet unsteadily, still limping slightly. He circled the desk and sat on the edge, never letting go of Rafael’s hand. “You’ve done more for me in the past few weeks than anyone else except the doctors that dug the bullet out of my leg. But I have to go back.”

“I know. I just… I thought I was finally done being alone.” Sonny narrowed his eyes and laughed from the back of his throat.

“You really think I’m letting you go that easy? Just ‘cause we’re not working in the same office doesn’t mean I’m leaving you, Rafael. Don’t you worry that pretty little head of yours about that.” Rafael rolled his eyes.

“Is that so?”

“Want me to prove it? Tomorrow, I’m taking you out for dinner to celebrate my first day back. Just you and me. What do you say?”

“I say… not being lonely sounds pretty damn nice.”


End file.
